St. Louis Post-Dispatch from St. Louis, Missouri • Page 49

TH 1 uvu Intht St LOUIS POST-DISPATCH I Published Cverg Dinj Wcck-d4 Vund4V PART FOUR 1 8D ST. LOUIS, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 1948 Crowd Around Truman Train I LtIJ" tfW.i "Pays to Be Ignorant A Radio Show That Thrives on Corn By John Crosby IN a medium where corn, as the word ia understood in show business, has become a respected and lucrative though non-agricultural industry, "It Pays to Be Ignorant" deserves, and i In my case, achieves 43 a SSb' 1 4-55 N. a great measure of respect simply because the program harvests more per acre than any other. For the benefit of those as they say on the radio who tuned in late, "It Pays to Be Ignorant" is a veteran program both in respect to its age as a show and to the ripeness of its par MiliaillMWilP III I '1 TOM HOWARD cs i EJ I 1rinw Humtii Crowd of "more tjian 600 persons gathered around the end of the President's special train this afternoon at Union Station during a one-hour stop. The welcomers were admitted to trackside at the direction of Truman.

wno snouted instructions over a loudspeaker. Bj Tost-Dispitcl) Staff PhotogrtBher. I AV' 'J. afL I I I ELECTION REACTION IN LONDON SJrsZ' paper morning showing the banner lines that called English readers' attention to the news of Presi dent Truman's triumph. AModattd Prna Radiopbota ticipants.

It is parody on all quiz programs; its moderator, Tom Howard, and its three experts Harry McNaughton, Lulu McConnell and George Shelton are cheerfully ignorant of all rational information but appear to have forgotten nothing ever written by Joe Miller. AS REGARDS THE JOKES, no program on the air is more shameless. They tell jokes on this program that would cause even Joe Miller some embarrassment; they tell these ancient wheezes in a self-confident, unceasing roar that ranges from Tom Howard's foghorn tenor through McNaughton's bleating mockery of an English accent to Lulu McConnell's gravel-voiced screech. THE TECHNIQUE IS simple. Howard howls a.

question at his experts, a really difficult question such as "In what country is the Bank of England?" Pandemonium then breaks out. No one ever gets around to answering the question but. for the next three minutes, the air is blue uith every joke uttered about banks, about money, about England each one worse than the last one but each exploded at you with such idiotic good humor, with such speed and above all with such mastery of timing and inflection that you- haven't time to examine the joke's antecedents. "IN WHAT COUNTRY is the Bank of England?" howjs Tom Howard. "Mr.

McNaughton, there's a question you ought to know." "Yes, indeed," squeals that raffish Englishman, McNaughton. "You mean you know it?" "No, I mean I ought to." "Where is the Bank of England?" repeats Howard, louder than the first time. "Don't tell me you've lost, the Bank of England already," bellows Shelton. "He's just misplaced it," shrieks McNaughton. Miss McConnell at this point interposes her voice, which fortunately is inimitable: "I keep my money in a mattress." "Why do you keep your money in a mattress?" "So I have something to fall back on." "Miss McConnell," roars Howard, "you already have something to fall back on." "MY WIFE KEEPS her money in a silk stocking," screams McNaughton.

"It's a joint account." "Let's get back to the question," screams Howard. "Where is the "I wish I had enough money to buy an elephant," whispers Shelton, rattling the chandeliers. "Why do you want to buy an elephant?" "I don't. I just wish I had that much money." "I don't need money," howls somebody. "I got rich relatives." "You got rich relatives?" "I got a cousin in Arizona who's worth $10,000." "You got a cousin in Arizona worth "Well, that's what the sheriff is offering for him." THESE TERRIBLE and wonderful gags hurtle out of your microphone at a speed considerably greater than sound is accustomed to travel; the teamwork of the four veteran comics Is extraordinarily good, each one playing straight iimn when the occasion requires; and, even after making generous allowance for my personal idiosyncrasies, I'm forced to conclude they are very funny people.

(Copyright, 1948.) 1 6 9- 1 CJAk pl PARADE PAST TRUMAN'S HOME Members of the Willia Chrisman high school R.O.T.C. marching past President Truman home In Independence yesterday afternoon during a hurriedly-organized victory parade. The' President was not there at the time. Associate Press Wlrephoto. Who Perseverance Will Do S3 I -r Mi' Start ''il A1'---rifflWWMninMBWWIIIWPIIUBjtWJBM orning iiiimnni" i "TinriiifiiiiitfniiiiwuiM GREETING FOR FUTURE VOTER purefdenh Tranentg, snake hands with Walter Hummel, 2 years old, upon the President's arrival at the Jackson County Courthouse in Independence last night for a victory rally staged by his fellow townsmen.

Associated Presa Wirephoto. yfyyyy M8WSBBB8.WWTOaaiw jjj 'jni anw mm mm 1 By Christopher Billopp WHEN a husband and wife are both going to town in the morning it seems a shame they shoulld not go together in the family car." The wife will explain she will be ready to go in a minute. In fact, before departure, all she has to do is to change into her street dress, make the beds and straighten up the rooms, figure what she will have for dinner and order it. By that time the butter and egg man will have arrived and have to be settled with. And the wife will suddenly realize she should call up and make a hair appointment.

IT WILL OCCUR TO HER also that this would be an ideal time to stop by and leave a dress, a sweater and a suit of her husband's at the cleaners. So a little time will be devoted to collecting them. And then she ought to write a postcard to Mary. And, before leaving the house, she will of course have to see that the doors are locked, no lights have been left on and the thermostat is turned back. No doubt she also will look into the mirror and discover her slip is showing, which will call for considerable adjustment.

I. Lynn Bosworth, 6 years old, forgetting the status of her baby teeth, grins in anticipation of eating an ear of corn. 2. The problem of shifting the ear to the side of her mouth brings a frown to the Alhambra (Calif.) girl. THEN SHE WILL BE all 'ready to go, except that the telephone will ring and Susie will be on the line all set for nice long talk.

When this is over she will start for the car only to find it is colder than she thought and she should go back for her coat. It is now rather late. But on the way to town she will point out that, after all, her husband will get to town as quickly as he would have done had he taken a streetcar or bus. And this is true, provided the streetcar ran ef the track or the bus got a flat tire, or either was indefinitely delayed on the way. rJ 4 1 '13 i Jjr l' I 'A i(itt r7 -if- I I 3.

v- 1 What Am I Saying! 1SEE by the papers that some doctors recently declared that persons with superior intelligence are the ones most often afflicted by hay fever and head noises. Strange. It always seemed to me that an EMPTY head would be most apt to ring. Of course, some of them CAN'T ring they're cracked. FRANK MORGAN.

ELECTION DET PAY-OFF Dr- RufkosI(J cf Arlington. Va, 1 1 1 1 1 wrr manning a whee'barrow carrying his friend, William F. Clougher, Toledo, in front of the White House yesterday as the physician paid off an election bet. John J. Freeman, another friend of Rutkoski's, is at right.

3. Carrying on under trying conditions means shifting to tne other side. The frown remains. 4. Stray kernels and a battered ear, plus corn on the cheek, attesting to success of a sort.

Associated Presi Wlirphotos. Aaaodated Praaf Wirtphatfc.